I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
