Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
