one two three fourrrrnication!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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