Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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