He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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