I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
NoShamevember. You game?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
