yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
