sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
