What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
