College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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