You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
