Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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