He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
