evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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