my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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