Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
