Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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