the day after is always just damage control
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
