well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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