Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
