Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
