Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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