So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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