You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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