nutella sex= disaster
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
