so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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