Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
