woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
