He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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