I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We were destined to go to rehab together
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
