I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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