It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
