Those balls look pretty dangerous.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
