He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
