Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
operation harelip BJ is a go
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
