She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
