I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Vodka?
Forever.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Randomize
