if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize