After last night, I could never be a politician.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
