do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
