I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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