As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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