Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
