Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
