And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
