so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize