physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
