think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
