okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize