i think i have two assholes
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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