Do vagina's smell?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
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