Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize