physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize