Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize