so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
