I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
