ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
The air taste purple.
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