I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
