Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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