Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
