I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
