i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
