No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
