Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
