Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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