You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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