I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
