I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
