apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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