I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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