I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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