Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
