haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize