google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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