You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dignity is for republicans.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
