do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
