Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
