And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
