I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
