It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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