Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
we're so committed to being not committed
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
