I got chris browned last night
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
